This is another discovery from the people at NewScientist, more specifically the Feedback section whose oddities of language and logic brighten my day.
This particular nugget is Panexa, a wonder-drug for the treatment of metabolism, binocular vision and digestion among other things. The side effects include “really geeky laughs, inability to distinguish the colors ‘taupe’ and ‘putty’ and the compulsion to address everyone nearby as Cap’n”. Hmmm.
Closer inspection reveals that this is not real and is a hoax prepetrated by some sort of satirical publication called ‘Stay Free’. Thank goodness. Here is the website.